Friday, January 6, 2012

This one is ALL Wesley

I've been telling Rich for a while that I needed to write an update for Wesley.  Well, yesterday was his 6th birthday, so what better time?  I went back to see when I updated about him last and I didn't realize that I had dropped the ball there!  The last big update you got about him was in Oct 2010.  At that time, he was just getting the whole counting thing...he had numbers 1-7...and he was astounding me with his shapes.  After months of trying to get blue and yellow, he finally had that then got red right off the bat.  He had just started his last year of preschool, although we didn't know that at the time.



With special needs children, you have the option of holding them back a year from starting kindergarten just to ensure that they are where they need to be.  We had always intended to take the extra year, we were certain that there was no way he was going to be ready to start on time.  There was also some sticky red tape involved with special needs and the labels and junk.  Before a child is 6, they can be in preschool under a Developmental Delayed label...they can't get the Autism label before they turn 6 according to the school system...even if they have all the outside diagnosis in the world!  Without that Autism label, they can't get services from the Autism teacher.  So, because Wesley's birthday isn't until January, he would have had to go half the school year with very little support.  This was NOT in his best interest.  Fortunately, they decided to change this and we could add autism as a secondary label in order to get the support.  (It's all mumbo jumbo to me, just tell me what you are going to do for my child!)  Anyway, this opened up the kindergarten option.

At this time, Wesley was still fairly behind neuro-typical (NT) peers, so we were still pretty sure he wasn't going to start.  There are so many other things to think about as well.  Wesley is a big kid, so he's already the biggest kid in the class, if we hold him back another year so that he's a year older than everyone else, he's going to be that much bigger!  We didn't want him to have another reason for being picked on in later years.  This one decision was so huge...it would affect the rest of his life!  Who are we to make a decision like that when we are but faulty humans??  We really struggled with this...if you couldn't tell.  :-)  In the end, Wesley learned like a champ for the rest of the year!  He could identify and reorder numbers 1-20, he knew all of his capital letters and some lower case ones.  He knew lots of shapes!  His speech was growing rapidly!  He took some of my arguments out of our hands.  He would be going to kindergarten!

Of course, the worrying didn't stop.  Wesley really has to struggle to learn new concepts...like colors...so how was he going to keep up in kindergarten when they are learning letter sounds.  It took MONTHS to get two simple colors down...while he's working on getting the idea of letter sounds, aren't the other children going to zoom past him?  We had our IEP (individual education plan) meeting in June and put together some goals to work on for the year.  Letter sounds, counting and identifying numbers to 50, naming and identifying vocabulary using pictures, upper and lowercase letters, writing his name, sounding out words, and some beginning math.  I was a little concerned about some of these goals.  But these will all seem like typical goals for you, but there are also a couple that won't be so typical.  Initialing and sustaining play with peers for 10 minutes, and answering simple WH questions (who, what, where, why).  It really is amazing some of the things that you take for granted with an NT child...I never had to teach Nick how to play!

Anyway, I was pleased and nervous about starting kindergarten.  Then we found out that he was to have Mr. Whaley for his kindergarten teacher...he's been in the room right next to Wesley from the beginning, so he knew Wesley well.  I was very happy about this...and then we also learned that Ms Penny from preschool was changing positions and would be Wesley's aide for the classroom!  This was turning out wonderfully!!  Wesley did well over the summer continuing to learn and polish up some skills, so he had a little jump on his classmates come fall.


Wesley's personality has been showing through so much more too.  He's learning to communicate better so that makes it easier.  He's such a funny kid!  He's currently obsessed with Mario right now.  Everything Mario!  He has a knit hat with Mario on it that he likes to were...it can be 70 degrees out and he wants "Mario."  I am loving the communication...things that I didn't know he could say keep coming out of his mouth.  He's being able to tell me things that he wants that I don't know that I would have been able to get otherwise.  A couple weeks ago, I was getting him dressed and out of nowhere he says, "How about, BELT!"  I had to make him say it a couple of times because this was a new word for me!  But he wanted to wear a belt!  I just happened to have one that fit too.  Nick never really wore one, but his daddy does.  Now, he has to have a belt on almost every day.  I shudder to think of all the fits that might have been thrown about a belt (without me having any clue what the fit was about) had he not been able to tell me what he wanted!  This is one of those moments that will stick in my head.


Wesley is doing fairly well with potty training, still refuses to go anywhere but home and grandparents house and I have to remind him...especially when he's playing video games.  Wesley brings home 2 books to read every night and at first, I thought he was just memorizing the books from school until I tested it a little.  My baby boy is READING!!!!

We had another IEP meeting in December to go over the testing that was done to determine his eligibility for services due to the fact that he was turning 6...more red tape stuff.  Anyway, of course he's eligible, so we went over the goals again while we were there.  Wesley has mastered some of his goals!  He's gotten all of his letter sounds!  He's sounding out words and is reading age appropriate books!  Mr Whaley said that he is actually nicely ahead of lots of his NT students!  Just what a mom wants to hear!!  :-)  So, we need to tweak the IEP to add some harder stuff!  He's going to be starting addition and subtraction, counting by fives and tens, and we've moved on the comprehension with his reading.

My big baby boy is doing fantastically!  I am really impressed at anyone who has made it through this entire post, but there was so much to put in here!  I am sure I am missing stuff, but I promise not to take so much time before updating about him again.  Thank you so much for caring.  Having Wesley has shown me the meaning of it taking a village to raise a child.

Monday, January 2, 2012

One Word

If you had just one word to sum up your goals for 2012, what would it be?  I was faced with this question last night as I strolled through the book of faces.  I was perplexed, what would it be?  I have certain goals in mind, but what word would I choose? Was I being too ambitious?  I usually am when thinking of New Year's Resolutions.  Within a month, I have forgotten what it was or it was just too hard to begin with.

So, I read a few other people's posts about their One Word.  That still didn't help.  Then suddenly and from out of nowhere, it hit me.  Moderation.  I seem to be an all or nothing gal with lots of things.  FlyLady says it's the perfectionist inside me.  If I can't do it perfectly, then I'm not going to do it at all.  I am that way with so many things in my life.  Going to the gym, cleaning, blogging...you get the idea.  So, this is my word, I am going to strive for moderation this year.  (BTW, here is a fantastic blog post on this....CLICK HERE.)

I am going to need help with this.  Please, would you help me?


"A reasonable man needs only to practice moderation to find happiness." - Johann von Goethe

Friday, November 25, 2011

Intentional living - on Provoketive.com



Today, instead of seeing my usual Food Friday, I would love to present my latest endeavor to broaden my horizons in the field of writing.

As you might know, I was a contributor to a collection of stories about depression called Not Alone.  The publisher, Jonathan Brink, has just been wonderful.  He started an online magazine called Provoketive.  Here is my first contribution to it...and get this...it's a FEATURED PIECE!  :-)

So, go on, read it!


What is Intentional Living?


Intentional Living seems to be the new buzz phrase right now. I have a tendency to dismiss stuff such as this because I don't really like "church speak". Church speak could be a whole other post. But suffice it to say that I was not raised in church and there has certainly been a learning curve when it comes to figuring out what some people are actually saying. I am lucky to go to a church that doesn't use it too much and really caters to the "un-churched." But I digress.

Back to Intentional Living. I have really been thinking about this a lot lately, mainly because it keeps popping up. But also because once you get past the church speak, there are some basic truths there. In thinking about my life, I began to wonder if I have been living intentionally. What does living intentionally look like? Is there biblical backing to this?


To read the rest of my piece click....HERE!

I'd love to hear what you think...please let me know!

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Thankful...

I left this post a little late to write.

I come to this post after having a great meal with a great group of people.  And I thought this would be a great time to write this post.  Unfortunately, it went down hill very quickly.

We did have a fabulous meal with part of our homegroup.  We had some great conversation and just a generally awesome time being with friends.  Our children, all 8 of them, we together having a good time...things were going wonderfully!  It was time to eat and Wesley came to his daddy and said "Time to eat."  This is huge.  Wesley has a handful of things that he will eat, some of this being the McDonald's the we fed him on the way over because we knew he wouldn't eat anything while there.  I got him a plate and he picked out mashed potatoes, a piece of turkey and a roll.  I didn't really expect him to eat any of it, but I was optimistic that he would at least take a bite of the mashed potatoes.  Instead, he took his plate and went and sat down with the rest of the children.  With tears in my eyes, I watched him look like the other children...except he wasn't eating.  :-)  I really think he just wanted to do the same as they were doing.  I was so happy at this!  This is a huge thing for a child with autism.


What I missed was the fact that he was zoned out for most of the meal, staring at the fish tank.  This should have sent me a red flag, that things were overwhelming him and that I needed to watch for a good and easy transition to leave.  I was too excited about the progress that I saw.  Instead, I enjoyed myself and let him get really into playing Mario on the Wii...it's the latest obsession, anything to do with Mario.  Then, I sprung it on him..."Time to go!"

"No go! I no go!"

I let him play one more level...that usually helps...and we got sock on pretty well, but that's where he was drawing the line.  No shoes.

Our homegroup is a great bunch of people and they know that we deal with Wesley's autism...they've just never seen a full blown meltdown.   Until tonight.

At this point, this post is exactly what I need.  I need to remember all the little things that I am thankful for.  So, here goes.



my Savior
my husband and how much he loves me
my children
my parents
the fact that I can be a stay at home mom
having such great friends
my church
my bed
Wesley being diagnosed early
Nick being such a gifted child
Rich doing what he loves
the food that we eat
living in such a beautiful state
tea
the therapists and teachers that love my son
the fact that he can say "I love you"
Rich's friends that can give him someplace to go away from the craziness
coffee and coffee goo
awesome tv shows that I zone out on at night
my blog and its readers
Coke Zero
chocolate
the smiles on my kids' faces when I walk into a room
Nick's love of reading
McDonald's
the hugs and kisses from my kids



I could go on...but this post has been successful.  Yes, there was not a great ending to the evening, but my life is so much fuller than what happened tonight.  There are so many things I have to be thankful for.  Thank you for coming by to read this.  You have no idea how much I appreciate it!  :-)


Wednesday, November 23, 2011

#YouMightBeAnAutismParentIf

Twitter is a fabulous thing...I will go so far as to say that social media is a wonderful thing!

I have a great autism family near me.  We even have a support group set up, but we don't see each other nearly as often as I would like.  Our lives are so busy with our children and just plain living that we don't get near enough time together.  This is where social media comes in.  It's there when we have a second to grab for ourselves.  There are other moms out there that are dealing with the same things, every day. And Twitter and Facebook makes it so much easier to come together.

This is why I was pretty excited when I stumbled upon the "you might be an autism parent if" hashtag on Twitter.  I stayed up late watching and participating, I have had several people follow me because of it.  I was up this morning and greeted to 432 new tweets for the hashtag.  Every one of these people understand!

Here are a few of my favorites:


 Jo Ashline 
 You have more compassion, patience, love, tolerance, hope, resilience & stamina than u ever thought possible

 Christa 
 your child goes hungry until the right food is served. Yes, children CAN starve themselves to death.

 Eric 
 you have learned to love your child for who they are, rather who they should be. Best lesson ever!

 Jill 
 you have to live forever. No, I'm serious. This isn't optional.

 helen hamill 
 you wouldn't change your child for the world- but want often to change the World for your child!

 Spectrummy Mummy 
 the first thing you'll do after you win the lottery is take your kid to a Swarovski shop and let her loose.

 claire howett 
 tweeting and following this hash tag has been the best therapy, EVER! :)

 ajackson 
 you think it'd be cruel to throw your child a traditional birthday party full of stimulation.

 Sunday Stilwell 
 the term "IEP" instantly conjures up the theme song to "ROCKY" in your head

 Christine Zorn 
 you've burst into tears in front of a therapist or teacher....more than once

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Fave Movie - 30 Day Blog Challenge

Your favorite Movie



I know, I know.  This is not supposed to be a favorite movie, but I guess you could count this as a guilty pleasure too.  :-)  (As if!)

I'd guess I was about 16 when I went to see Wayne's World alone, by myself, at the theater.  See, I was supposed to be going with a friend, but she bailed for a guy, so I went alone.  I loved the movie so much that I took another friend to see it again.  We learned this movie from start to finish and for months afterwards, that's all you would hear us spout!  I am still known to spew Wayne's World quotes from time to time!

Here are some of my favorite scenes.


Stacy: (walking up to table, holding big wrapped gift) Happy anniversary, Wayne.
Wayne: Stacy, we broke up two months ago.
Stacy: Well, that doesn't mean we can't still go out.
Wayne: Well, it does, actually. That's what breaking up is....
Stacy: Well, don't you want to open your present?
Wayne: If it's a severed head I'm going to be very upset.
Stacy: Open it.
Opens present.
Wayne: What is it?
Stacy: It's a gun rack.
Wayne: A gun rack... a gun rack. Shyeah, Right! I don't even own A gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do... with a gun rack?
Stacy: You don't like it? Fine. (takes gun rack and starts to walk away; turns) You know Wayne, if you're not careful, you're going to lose me.
Wayne: I lost you two months ago. We broke up. Are you mental? Get the net!
__________________________

Inventor Ron Paxton demonstrates the "Suck Kut", a vacuum/haircutting device, on Garth. Garth cries out in pain over the roaring of the device as it sucks up his hair.
Ron Paxton: As you can see, it sucks as it cuts.
Wayne Campbell: It certainly does suck.
Garth Algar: (in agony) AAHHH! TURN IT OFF MAN, TURN IT OFF! IT'S SUCKING MY WILL TO LIVE! OH, THE HUMANITY!


Then, of course, there is the reason that I absolutely LOVE Bohemian Rhapsody!




I hope you enjoyed strolling down memory lane with me.  Now, what is your favorite movie?  I love finding new things, so please share!


Here's my original post on the 30 Day Blog Challenge if you want to read what else I have to say.  I'd love for you to come along for the ride! :-)



Friday, November 18, 2011

Food Friday!

Ok, another one not actually about food.  This time it is COFFEE!



Now, Rich and I have never been coffee drinkers.  I would drink the occasional cup, but he would only drink it is he was fighting to stay awake and simply for the caffeine jolt.  One day, I have no idea what got into him, he ordered a cup while we were eating at Cracker Barrel because I had.  I think this was the first time I have ever seen him order coffee while we were out to eat...it wasn't for the caffeine either, it was decaf!  Well, this was pretty yummy coffee.  There were a few more instances of coffee being ordered and I was really beginning to question my sanity.  Who was this guy?  

Anyway, it was almost my birthday and Rich started talking about how he needed to go get my present (it was the day before my birthday), so I talked him into letting me go with him to help pick it out...little did I know that there wasn't too much "picking it out" to be done.  :-)  Well, that is if I don't count the actual coffee.  He got me the french press, a coffee grinder, and 2 bags of beans.  Since we are new to this whole thing, we aren't sure what we will like yet, so we have to do some experimenting!  Fun!  We get to experiment with different beans and coffee goo!  Earlier this week, I hit upon a winning combination.  Hazelnut beans with chocolate caramel coffee goo...YUM!  This combo will stick around for a while!

This thing is perfect for 2 travel mugs of coffee...one for each of us.  And we have had at least one cup every day since he got it for me.  I am happy to say that my house is a coffee drinking house!  :-)  


My friend, Alise, has raved for years about her french press and how much better coffee is when made in it.  We finally got one. 


Share some of your faves with me!  I am loving this experimenting stuff!