Okay, so #4 isn’t a “classic” definition of this kind of depression, but I think it works here. There are times when I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders and that’s enough to depress anyone! Some days, everything feels like it weighs 20 pounds more. My arms, my eyes, the milk, my feet, the air…it is much harder to push through with the extra weight. It would be easier to just stay in bed. Overwhelming exhaustion occurs, but sometimes with the inability to sleep. Outrageous thoughts swirl in my head. Everything feels like it’s my fault. We are out of toothpaste, my fault. It rained, that’s my fault too. My outlook is undeniably pessimistic. Nothing will go right again. Ever. Typing this stuff out…I can see the absurdity of it, but it’s what is in my head. How do I help someone who has never had thoughts like these to understand?
- a mental state characterized by a pessimistic sense of inadequacy and a despondent lack of activity
- sad feelings of gloom and inadequacy
- depressive disorder: a state of depression and anhedonia (an inability to experience pleasure) so severe as to require clinical intervention
- pushing down; "depression of the space bar on the typewriter"
My name is Misty and I am clinically and chronically depressed.
The above is an excerpt of my contribution to the Not Alone book. It's available at Amazon right now. Grab it so you can read the rest of my story and 36 other ones.
A great friend, Alise Wright, started this project after posting on her blog about her own struggles with depression and getting some great support from her Virtual Village. She found that most people feel isolated when dealing with depression and that finding support helps tremendously. Civitas Press gave her the opportunity reach a wider audience with the message that they are not alone with this book.
Most people are touched by depression in one way or another, be it struggling with it personally or seeing a friend or family member go through it. This book can help with the understanding that there is no one cure for depression. It's not a "one size fits all" kind of thing. It looks different on everyone and acts differently to boot. Pick up this book, read it for yourself and pass it on. There is no telling how many people we can touch with this project.
(Alise currently has a blog festival going about the book and has a linky up on her blog with posts from others. Hop on over there and take a look. She is also looking for reviewers too!)